Write The Next Line! – Bad Similes

This image is TOTALLY relevant, I swear.

—–The Resulting Poem from Today’s Round: Bad Similes—

His eyes were like
slick oil spills, oozing dark desire like
a goth chick’s emoticons. He smelled much like
the acrimonious sins of fathers waking beneath the apathy of mankind. And when he spoke, his voice was like
the song of a cicada in a sweet Georgia pine, menacing like
the heart of a benevolent spirit, traveling through the dimensions of time like
a little girl in a tutu with both shoes on the wrong feet. Handsome as
tepid coffee and a bowl of soggy cereal on a Monday morning, that one.

If only we could say the same for bad similes.

Guys, that was awesome! Hope you all had as much fun as I did. Give it up for contributing poets Lex, Tony Espino, Sahm King, Lilith Colbert and Emma Snow! This is the last of the poetry prompts The Read Room is doing for National Poetry Month, but I do hope you’ll all keep writing and help me make more creative mischief soon! 🙂

Today’s poetry prompt concludes both The Read Room’s week-long series of Interactive Poetry and my series of practices for National Poetry Month. Sometime next week I’ll aim to make it out to the bookstore and slip the poems I made (transcriptions and blackouts) into books. Yay! Celebrate! I’ll try not to buy too many books while I’m there (IS there such a thing? says the idealist. Um, YES, the wallet replies).

SO, in the spirit of ending things with a flying-crane kick, I saved the best (meaning, the worst, but probably most humorous) prompt for last.

Write the next line in the comments below, following the prompt: Bad Simile. Lines should finish one simile (comparison using the word “like”) and offer the prompt for the next by ending with the word “like”.


Prompt: The woman smoked like

Player 1: bacon burnt to the frying pan. The vice of her grip was like

Player 2: a shark chewing jerky. She seemed troubled, like

Player 3: Taylor Swift when her ex walked in. Etc.

At the end of the day I’ll post the complete poem formed by all the various players. Contribute as many times as you want to and have fun!

Get it? Got it? GOOD!

The simile we will be improving (/worsening, which in its own backwards sense is still an improvement because the original was so spectacularly awful), comes from the Twilight series and originally described Edward’s eyes as “like liquid topaz”. *Rubs hands together and cackles* LET US WRITE.

Your line, first player, is this:

His eyes were like