Doubt is such a funny, fickle thing.
One day I know that boy, I have a lot of work to do, but I’ll figure everything out eventually. Another it’s WOOOOP WOOOOP EMERGENCY THIS IS NOT A DRILL PROBLEMS ABOUND AND I DON’T KNOW HOW TO SOLVE THEM TAKE SHELTER AND PREPARE FOR IMPACT NOW.
The next I’ll come up with a fix. It’ll take me totally by surprise and reassure me to the moon.
The day after I’ll be sitting with my finger poised over send, biting my lip and sweating and second guessing everything because oh my god, someone else is going to read this, and maybe it seemed decent yesterday but it actually isn’t and I’ve read it so many times I can’t tell anymore and ahhHhHhHHhh I don’t know I just help?!?!????! (Eventually reason kicks in: This is why I’m getting outside feedback. I get the feedback; I make it better; life goes on.)
Here is what I’m coming to see: Doubt is a part of the process. But it’s not a one time step, knock it out of the way and you’re done; it’s a thread. It weaves through everything you do, every step of the way. It can come at any stage, at any strength, for any duration of time—and evaporate in the blink of an eye.
Being a writer means confronting your doubts again, and again, and again. It can be scary. It can be nerve-wracking.
But it can also be incredibly rewarding.
So the next time doubt swamps you, give yourself some credit and keep writing.
You’re right on track.
Very true. As a writer, you need to doubt what you’re producing, because you want to make it better and that’s not a one-time thing. So one day you’ll write something and think it’s good (or you wouldn’t have written it in the first place), then the next day you read it and realise it needs changing. Then it might get edited again weeks later, and then …
It’s knowing when to stop, to stick with what you’ve got, accept it’s the finished article (even if not 100% perfect, because what is?) and believe in it, that’s hard.
Someday I hope to have the luxury of second guessing myself in print 😉
I like this quote from Leonardo da Vinci: “Art is never finished; only abandoned.”