Julie Takes The Internet By Storm

Julie Takes The Internet By Storm - flat



It doesn’t take much to excite an unpublished author.

“Twelve likes!” Julie Israel, one such aspiring novelist exclaims. “That’s almost a baker’s dozen!”

Israel, the author of various WIP, has been working on her author platform since early this year. Or last year, if you include her blog which has grown to an impressively mediocre 373 followers.

“God, I’m even on Twitter now,” she laughs, bemoaning her recently-developed urge to hashtag anything that reads. #likeJulie #followJulie #JULZRULEZ4EVA </end shameless self-promotion>

In efforts to bolster her following and connect with fellow authors, artists, and readers – developing what Murray Hewitt, fictionally-portrayed-from-actual musical representation of Flight of the Conchords, sagaciously calls a fan base – Israel has gradually constructed a social media and internet presence: first a blog, then a Twitter account, and a few weeks ago an author website and Facebook fan page.

The problem?

“Getting people to read and follow and generally be interested in my work without being a total taco-copter*. I mean, I want to share what I’m doing and yes, social media are embraced by authors specifically as marketing tools, but I don’t want to be a robot, or a billboard, or that yap-flapping, Jedward-esk** salesman people cross the street to avoid having to talk to.”

As of this article, Israel has 373 followers on WordPress, 807 followers on Twitter, and a staggering 12 likes on Facebook. She also has an RSS feed for her website – www.julieisrael.com – but has not yet figured out how to tell who’s following. Quite possibly because nobody is yet.

Of course, as the author says, “Numbers are just numbers,” – she’d take authentic interest over copious digits any day.

That’s why, with this article – and because she finds a brand-building strategy of automated replies and relentlessly-spammed links to be acutely soul-destroying – Israel is imploringly, laughingly, kowtowingly, self-deprecatingly, Stephen-King-would-despise-all-these-adverbs-aware-ically asking for your help: check out her work. If you like it – any of it, including but not limited to this article – show your love: follow. Comment. Retweet. Press This. Mention it to another human being. For the love of Cheese, like her and stoke her ego a smidge!

“What wouldn’t I do for more Facebook likes! Well…a lot of things. I’ll tell you what I would do: I would dole the liker a snazzy internet high-five, I would dance a jig in the privacy of my bedroom, and I would raise my glass…es to said liker. I could also be persuaded to eat a celebratory doughnut.”

If, dear reader, you require further convincing to give a nature’s summons about her work, consider these 12 Reasons to Read Julie Israel. You’re welcome.

In the meantime, this Julie will keep writing and doing her creative thang – including dreaming up more enjoyable and less spork-in-the-eye annoying ways to promote herself/expand her fan base.


*taco-copter. Is any advert more obnoxious than a friggin’ helicopter?

**Jedward. The author’s guilty admission is that she secretly likes this notoriously annoying duo – or at least their catchy song “Lipstick” as entered in Eurovision.


43 responses to “Julie Takes The Internet By Storm”

  1. LOL….very entertaining…know what you’re going through…but I refuse to tweet…I have a hard enough time following my blog, those whom I follow…g+, facebook, yahoo oh and living my llife…you’re a great writer and deserve more…That too will come. 😉

    1. Haha, GOOD! It’s funnier when I’m not the only one laughing at my laughable platform. So thanks 😉

      Thank you also for the encouragement. Let’s both keep writing and working and trust that the rest will follow in due course!

      1. About the only thing we can do I guess. I mean seems we’re 48 million or so just on WordPress!

  2. It’s official…you’re past 12 likes now. 🙂 Congratulations! (I liked you with my personal page and the Nerd in the Brain page, so I request the snazzy internet high-five and the doughnut thing.) 😉

    1. WOO! *Jumps up and delivers a heel-clicking high-five* Thank you and double thank you!

      I am SO having a doughnut for breakfast tomorrow, too.

  3. If I were still on FB I would like your page (14 likes as of this comment! How many glasses already??). Anyway, I’m looking forward to “The Good Karma Project”—well, “Shifters” too, but the former sounds very very interesting. 🙂

    1. Thanks, Sky (ironically, I don’t use Facebook socially these days either…I’m only on it for the platformin’!). And thank you for your support 😀

      Re: glasses– the answer is only one: one *pair* of glasses, “glasses” meaning “spectacles”. A gentleman tips his hat…and a hipster/near-sighted author adjusts her glasses 😉

      1. LOL I have to remember that! 😀

  4. Fredrik Kayser Avatar
    Fredrik Kayser

    There’s something very addictive about getting “likes/stars/hearts” and whatever the medium you’re currently using has. ^^

    1. There certainly is. The sad truth is that they’re like tiny, digital drops of affirmation… 😉

      Truly, the numbers don’t matter to me– but I do care that my material reaches and resonates at least with some readers, and if there’s any chance that a decent platform can help me appeal to agents I want to give it my very best!

  5. I am amazed my blog is still new and people are reading my work..I just love it.

    1. Ooh, I know exactly what you mean…it’s like new blogger’s euphoria! Keep at it– I think you will find the WordPress community very supportive and encouraging 🙂

  6. I’m totally looking forward to going all hipster- “Oh, Julie Israel? Yeah, well, I was reading her before she hit every best-seller list. Just cool like that, me?”
    I’d make a terrible hipster.

    1. Ahahaha, I would LOVE that. Just imagine– Julie Israel, hipster fodder! I daresay you’ve given me my newest aspiration, Lex 😉 (And I am positive you would make a shrewd hipster.) At any rate, I’ll do my darnedest to deliver.

      Thanks for the encouragement!

      1. Let me know how the query letters progress so I know when to don my hipster glasses

        1. So it shall be written; so it shall one day be ironically gloated about at an indie bookshop/coffeehouse.

  7. I absolutely adored this Julie! You know what I’m going to do? Start a following spree for you on twitter. Yep ❤

    1. Omg, Emma, you are AMAZING! For you I won’t just internet-high-five…I’ll JIVE! 😀

      Seriously– thank you for your reading and support time and time again. I can’t tell you what it means to an aspiring author for there to be even one person she has never physically met that wants to read something she’s written. That alone is pretty dang sweet…but add to that that you’re helping me out Twitter? *jives again*

  8. I would totally promote you on Twitter, but I’m not sure how much that would help considering I have only 53 followers. Whatever you’ve been doing, I think you’re doing it right!

    1. Thank you, Aubrey. I hope this piece doesn’t come across as “advertise meeee!!!” too strongly… I dislike “selling,” but then again I sort of wrote it to compensate for all the monotonous Twitter blurbs, etc. I hope NOT to be doing…ha.

      At any rate I appreciate your reading and encouragement. Thanks again– and I fully will just keep doin’ my thang! 😉

  9. Now that was funny. Patience is a virtue and all that, and I’m re-blogging this so we can get you up to 400 followers! Let’s do it people!

    1. Woo hoo! *does the monkey* Thanks a million!

      1. “does the monkey” Is that anything like Beavis would do when he was dancing? Sometimes he would do the “Monkey Boy”…… Either way, I now have that mental image, and the tears I shed are of joy. 😀 Always a pleasure milady!

        1. Hmm, haven’t seen the Beavis’ Monkey Boy so I couldn’t tell you if that’s the same thing…the monkey I know is a 60s dance move 🙂

          1. Google “Beavis doing the monkey boy” or follow the link to see it for yourself. 😉 http://youtu.be/uxM3MnLZAaA Once you see it you will understand my tears of joy….

          2. Ok, LOL, that is definitely not the dance move I had in mind.

            On Mon, May 6, 2013 at 2:59 PM, The Read Room

  10. Reblogged this on The Ranting Papizilla and commented:
    I just noticed that Miss Julie only has 300 or so followers on her blog. This is an injustice people! A tragedy of epic proportions! We must fix this situation immediately! Follow this kind hearted Super Girl and be amazed, enlightened and bask upon her healthy glow!

  11. […] see, who all participated? Ruth Morris, Bastet and Sekhmet, Lilith Colbert, Sahm King and Julie Israel. Yes I am a name-dropper! Especially with those fantastic names to drop. *Oh, and Ruth? You really […]

  12. A glorious unabashed piece of self promotion that is not in the least bit pretentious or sneaking around the reader in the guise of some other altruistic goal! my applause a follow and a curtsey (English ladies do this!) before a humorous literary Queen!

    1. Geraldine! My my my, I don’t think anyone has ever called me a literary Queen (capital Q!) before…I’m not sure if it’s the flattery or the curtsey (likely both) but I am absolutely charmed by this introduction! It could also be your Word A Day, I think…a practice I am quite fond of myself 🙂 Hats off to anyone who appreciates language and endeavors to improve her lexicon!

  13. Very clever Julie – how do you do that newspaper column thingy? And you invented a new word and you’re the only person outside Ireland that likes Jedward. What a post 🙂 5 ‘likes’ now…

    1. Many thanks, Roy– the newspaper is actually a Photoshopped image. Photoshop actually DOESN’T have a function for columns, so I had to experiment a bit and figure out how to get text boxes the right size and station them in the right places… Even downloaded a couple fonts for this project! I guess it’s true, what they say: if you can see it in your head, you can make it happen (or at least, this is usually the case in Photoshop).

      Re: Jedward– ha! It’s probably true. ‘Tacocopter’, however, I did not invent; this was an actual business proposal I heard about on a favorite comedian’s show. Not sure that the idea ever took off, though (no pun intended).

  14. […] Julie Takes The Internet By Storm!  If that doesn’t get your attention, let me throw in the fact that Julie has inspired a couple of this blog’s poetry prompts with the innovation of Interactive Poetry Prompts.  And there’s more to Julie than poetry.  She also an author.  It doesn’t matter that, as she says, her books are in the works.  I suspect that they’re going to be pretty damn awesome.  In fact, if you want to get a glimpse of them, check out her official page on JulieIsrael.com.  We Drink Because We’re Poets is officially a fan of Julie Israel and the Read Room. […]

  15. […] & Noble, and sitting around discussing prose and adjectives with the likes of Stephen King, Julie Israel, Shannon Thompson, Michelle Proulx, Charles Yallowitz, Tom Clancy and the like. […]

  16. Somehow as I was off battling the demons of mental illness and fighting crime and injustice in the blogosphere, I lost my “feed” to your site. I have since remedied this by subscribing by e-mail.

    No wonder I couldn’t sleep at night! Keep up the good work.

    1. Noble causes, one and all! Thank you, Tony, for your continued encouragement 🙂

  17. Great article. Although, if your number of followers leaves you “mediocre” than I hate to think what category I’m in!

    1. At least we can’t have negative followers, eh?

      It’s all in good fun. Write first– count later (or don’t)! 🙂

  18. This is hilarious! PS – I Love You! You fantastic writer you! 🙂

  19. Haha…I laughingly and knowingly feel the need to relentlessly follow you in a Stephen King approvingly (whilst obviously disapprovingly enraged by superfluous adverbs) creepy manner across your social network.

    Seriously, that’s one of the funniest posts I’ve ever read !!!

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