Write The Next Line! – Bad Similes

This image is TOTALLY relevant, I swear.

—–The Resulting Poem from Today’s Round: Bad Similes—

His eyes were like
slick oil spills, oozing dark desire like
a goth chick’s emoticons. He smelled much like
the acrimonious sins of fathers waking beneath the apathy of mankind. And when he spoke, his voice was like
the song of a cicada in a sweet Georgia pine, menacing like
the heart of a benevolent spirit, traveling through the dimensions of time like
a little girl in a tutu with both shoes on the wrong feet. Handsome as
tepid coffee and a bowl of soggy cereal on a Monday morning, that one.

If only we could say the same for bad similes.

Guys, that was awesome! Hope you all had as much fun as I did. Give it up for contributing poets Lex, Tony Espino, Sahm King, Lilith Colbert and Emma Snow! This is the last of the poetry prompts The Read Room is doing for National Poetry Month, but I do hope you’ll all keep writing and help me make more creative mischief soon! 🙂

Today’s poetry prompt concludes both The Read Room’s week-long series of Interactive Poetry and my series of practices for National Poetry Month. Sometime next week I’ll aim to make it out to the bookstore and slip the poems I made (transcriptions and blackouts) into books. Yay! Celebrate! I’ll try not to buy too many books while I’m there (IS there such a thing? says the idealist. Um, YES, the wallet replies).

SO, in the spirit of ending things with a flying-crane kick, I saved the best (meaning, the worst, but probably most humorous) prompt for last.

Write the next line in the comments below, following the prompt: Bad Simile. Lines should finish one simile (comparison using the word “like”) and offer the prompt for the next by ending with the word “like”.

EXAMPLE

Prompt: The woman smoked like

Player 1: bacon burnt to the frying pan. The vice of her grip was like

Player 2: a shark chewing jerky. She seemed troubled, like

Player 3: Taylor Swift when her ex walked in. Etc.

At the end of the day I’ll post the complete poem formed by all the various players. Contribute as many times as you want to and have fun!

Get it? Got it? GOOD!

The simile we will be improving (/worsening, which in its own backwards sense is still an improvement because the original was so spectacularly awful), comes from the Twilight series and originally described Edward’s eyes as “like liquid topaz”. *Rubs hands together and cackles* LET US WRITE.

Your line, first player, is this:

His eyes were like

Advertisements

13 thoughts on “Write The Next Line! – Bad Similes

  1. His eyes were like
    slick oil spills, oozing dark desire like
    a goth chick’s emoticons. He smelled much like
    the acrimonious sins of fathers waking beneath the apathy of mankind. And when he spoke, his voice was like

  2. His eyes were like
    slick oil spills, oozing dark desire like
    a goth chick’s emoticons. He smelled much like
    the acrimonious sins of fathers waking beneath the apathy of mankind. And when he spoke, his voice was like
    the song of a cicada in a sweet Georgia pin, menacing like

  3. His eyes were like
    slick oil spills, oozing dark desire like
    a goth chick’s emoticons. He smelled much like
    the acrimonious sins of fathers waking beneath the apathy of mankind. And when he spoke, his voice was like
    the song of a cicada in a sweet Georgia pin, menacing like
    the heart of a benevolent spirit, traveling through the dimensions of time like

  4. Julie this is so much fun! You always come up with the most inspiring and creative ideas! ❤ Gah. I'm such a dummy. I forgot to mention you in my favorite blogs post O.o

  5. Now … it looks like something happened here I cannot quite explain. I was here earlier today and posted the following: ‘His eyes were like slick oil spills, oozing dark desire like a Goth chick’s emoticons. He smelled much like ocean after the first rain in summer. Only his breath tasted like … ‘

    I came back this evening (NZ time) to see what has been added to it … but alas it is no longer here! Never mind, I still enjoyed very much reading the poem in making!

    Your ideas always sparkle!

    • Ah, Daniela, I’m so sorry there was some kind of technical lapse! What good lines those are!

      Thank you for participating and, in gratitude, I’ll complete the simile you started… “He smelled much like ocean after the first rain in summer. Only his breath tasted like leftover french fries warmed in a dirty microwave.”

      Hahaha, I daresay THAT doesn’t sparkle 😉

  6. This looks fun! Brilliant idea, brilliant result. Much better than the original simile, anyway. “Eyes like liquid topaz”? Seriously, Meyer? Thankfully, I didn’t and won’t read the novels.

    I say MORE PROMPTS! 🙂

    • I know, right? BUT, on the other hand, being a writer I can appreciate attempts to be original, and…well…I guess we can safely say nobody had said “liquid topaz eyes” before 😉 Goodness knows I’ll have my own share of bloopers.

      Thank you for your encouragement, Sky! The old prompt-generator needs to recharge a bit, but I have already made vague plans to contribute at least a few more poetry prompts to We Drink Because We’re Poets 🙂

What's the word?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s